this is bullshit!

so, maybe soon in the future, i will post of video of how that's supposed to sound. anyway, welcome to a new segment on molly & molly where we share some things lately that are bullshit. but, first, here is a story about how this segment came to be:

several months ago, it came to my attention that there was an "urban legend" running around my school that i had shouted "This is bullshit!" at our assistant principal (some versions had me chasing her down the hallway, yelling). well, obviously that did not "technically" happen. (I did say something was bullshit - because it was - but I said it after she was gone, albeit in a room with several people in it.)

now, people, you must know by now that the school i worked at this year was FULL of bullshit and people at work stuck to that phrase like white on rice. at an end-of-the-year get together it was said multiple times about every. little. thing. this tickled michael to no end and he suggested i make a regular posting entitled "This is Bullshit" to share the love. so let's share.

1. MDT has been called to a fire. On Memorial Day and 5 days before his mother comes to town. This is Bullshit!

2. Cooley has become smart enough to break out of his gate when we leave him home alone. We are forced to just let him roam when we're out and have back-tracked to the days of puppy-proofing the house. This is Bullshit!

3. A member of MDT's office (who is a recurring member in our household Bullshit! sessions) got paid to drive all around the greater part of southern colorado for no work-related purpose AND got a speeding ticket in a state vehicle. there was no official punishment. This is Bullshit!

Now it's your turn. What's been Bullshitting you lately?

lazy, lazy, lazy. i love being lazy

after the early-week shit show we encountered (which i will detail for you later), i am now fully recovered and fully enjoying my summer vacation. walking a thin line between jammies & clothes, trolling blogs, watching LOTS of csi re-runs, contemplating being productive, taking cuddly naps with the coolster, and leaving the house for at least 30 minutes for a trot around the block is definitly my idea of awesomeness.

here is a summary of my past month:

i started tucking my shirt into my pants and i love it

we went on a field trip to the zoo - classic! they were sooooo excited to go on the bus (I love the crap out of those kids)

but i was still thrilled to be done with that horrible place & get ready to move on!

we celebrated a friend's birthday with a, wait for it.......MURDER MYSTERY DINNER PARTY!!! this girl casie (in the black hat) planned it & set it all up (complete with dance contest) and it was the most fun ever. beware friends, this type of party is all i will accept in the future

(also, can we talk about michael's ridiculous beard?! it was a hit of the party)

mdt & i also went out for a celebratory "i-got-a-job" dinner. i drank a whole beer by myself and we had the saltiest french fries on the earth.
seriously, they were VERY salty.

and in other big news, i found a recipe to make your own oatmeal creme pies. they are fucking delicious.

i believe i also mentioned something about a "shit show". to begin, the internet at our house just stopped working on sunday. their so-called "customer service" line informed me that there might be some "connection issues" and they have "no ETA in these matters". if you know me at all, you know that i just about lost my mind.
additionally, over that same weekend, part of our basement was slightly flooded with rank-smelling water. hmmm. we call a plumber & they come on monday, tell us it looks like a bend in the pipe & not just a clog, recommend we get a camera to look at it, and take our money. 30 minutes later, we look at cooley and see this:

the bottom picture is an example of his regular face

yes, our dog got stung/ate/attacked (who knows?) by bees (we presume) and his face swelled up like .... i don't even have a simile to put here. it was unbelievable. we drugged him up with benedryl & he slept for a few hours and then he was back to normal. also, still no internet.

but those things alone do not a shit show make. on *tuesday* we have the plumbers come back with their camera. long shit show short, the main plumbing line that goes from our home to the city's sewer line is jacked up** beyond repair and we need to undergo a huge (read: EXPENSIVE) project to assure that we don't have random raw sewage chilling in our basement. fun. (p.s. internet finally returns, but only after i have already signed up for a different provider, because skybeam can kiss my ass)


thankfully, i'm fully recovered (see above where i mention how i'm spending my days this week). and i'm back to blogging. so yay. now comment bitches.


**"jacked up" is the new favorite phrase in the Till household. try it out - it goes with everything! i feel in love with it when one of my students used it a few months ago:

Me: There's a bumblebee in this book. Can anyone share how they can make a connection to that?
Boy: Oooh! One time, I saw a bumblebee on the sidewalk and he was all jacked up. He was [insert blech sound and miming being crushed]. His guts was all [insert belch sound and crush-miming again].
Me (trying not to die laughing & noticing my evil principals in the doorway): So this bumblebee reminded you of a dead bumblebee, yes?
Boy: No, he was Jacked. Up.
Me (still dying): Okay, but when you say 'jacked up' you mean he was smushed and dead on the sidewalk, right?
Boy: Yes! He was jacked up!

I bid you adieu, but be on the lookout for a new segment that michael suggested called "This Is Bullshit!"