what do i know anyway?

okay, so really i was 28 weeks along in that last post. i fixed the picture, but i'm not going to rewrite all the things that are happening with baby till. i can only add that his brain is developing billions of neurons & it's pretty clear that it's costing me some of my critical thinking skills (like, you know, counting).  anyway, here is a picture of the real 29 weeks. 

people, i want you to pause for a moment. 29 is close, very close, to 30. indeed, it is ONE away. in this case, one week or 7 days (see how i'm working on my counting skills?). and once i get to 30 weeks, i'm only 10 weeks away from The Big Event. 10 weeks is about 2.5 months. does anyone feel like it's a good idea for me to be someone's mother is 2.5 months?! i'm yet to be convinced, especially because i have about 10% of Baby Things up and running. in case you're wondering, that's not a lot of things. however, lady skelnik will be here in a few weeks & i plan on utilizing her non-pregnant body to do all my baby preparation bidding. that makes me feel better.


p.s. it's come to my attention that these webcam pictures are on the other side of awful. it's also come to my attention that michael lost our camera on the wildfire & it's either burned and/or flooded. so grainy webcam pictures is all we've got going for a while. don't fret my sweets, i plan on having a new camera in less than 10 weeks (ohmygod, i cannot be a mom and not even have a camera!!)

p.p.s. i am going to admit this on the internet, but any form of shaming me or "i told you, ha ha" will have it deleted FOREVER {kristina}. so. last night. i went out for drinks with some girlie friends. it was rainy. my back was sore. and. i.......i wore my leggings as pants.

may god have mercy on my soul

 

breaking news!

i can still paint my own toenails! as the days pass and my stomach gets exponentially larger and more difficult to maneuver around i figured painted toenails had to be one of the first things to go. but not so! all it required were these simple steps:
1. empty bladder
2. sit in a very un-ladylike position
3. hold arm in a slightly odd position & paint slowly.

these are the little things that make my day. do you feel sorry for me yet? well, maybe you will when you see how large my belly is in this week's update-->

 what's going on in there? hopefully, the little guy is about 2.5-3 lbs now. that is a very little portion of the [redacted number of pounds] i've gained so far. as you can see, the rest of that weight is in my boobs, arms, and cheeks. i say "hopefully" because midwife jana measured my belly at my latest appointment & it's measuring at about 31 weeks. don't be such a fat-ass baby!

what's going on out here? well, i'm officially in my 3rd trimester and have accomplished little-to-nothing in regards to preparing for a baby outside of my body. i have created an extensive excel spreadsheet detailing the items we still need to purchase for this dude, including several options for each item. also, i have spent about 3 hours total boxing up things in the office-soon-to-be-guest room. p.s. that is not enough time to pack all the shizz in that room. i'm hopeful that when michael gets home next week he'll move all of the things for me, so we can get down to some serious baby room creating business. (and by "hopeful" i mean i hope i'll have enough sadism to force him into manual labor after 2 weeks of 16 hour days/sleeping on the ground/eating meals out of a bag.)


finally, i take small comfort in the fact that, when photographed from the front, this dress makes me look semi-unpregnant.

p.s. i took my glucose test today where they screen for gestational diabetes by having you drink this sugar drink and then draw your blood after an hour. what does it say about me that i didn't mind drinking it At All and it mostly tasted like flat orange fanta? i think it says i eat too much sugar and ima fail that test.