on being responsible

After a round-about discussion, Michael & I decided that we want to be more mindful of Fenner's online footprint. It's well & good for us to play fast and loose with our information and images, but Fenner is a different story. If you don't know, Michael's got some pretty fastidious internet rules about what is and isn't okay to share. We agree that too much of our guy plastered on the interwebs is on the "less okay" side, especially with the shifty way Facebook owns people's info. It's not to say that we won't ever post pictures on Facebook, but their won't be albums full of our dude's chubby ass cheeks. Along that same vein, we'd like other people to also not post any pictures on Facebook of the littlest Till without asking us first.

Fortunately for any of you who check this blog on a regular basis though, we agreed that this is a safer place to post pictures and stories than Facebook. This will be your one-stop shop for all things Baby Till: videos, stories, pictures. In the future, we might decide to make this a private blog (which just means you need to log-in with an email address to view it) but we're not feeling like that's necessary yet. And BONUS: I get more comments from readers! Yay!

And since you've read all that (you do read the words right? you're not just here for the pictures, like a playboy magazine are you!?), here's the requisite F-ing Cute Baby Boy photos!

Michael's boyfriends came to visit.

Faces of Fenner II

This kid's got bitchin' parents.

This is a series if pictures from when Fenner saw his reflection on the iPhone.

The first Thanksgiving we hosted!

Christmas tree cutting

newborns make you schizophrentic

i tried really hard to write a blog post for everyone, but i've got nothing. here are the emotions i've been having the past 6 weeks:

happy. sad. ecstatic. frustrated. calm. tired. irritated. proud. annoyed. tired. grateful. remorse. embarrassment. amused. tired. jealous. elated.

and probably more that i can't remember. if you can come up with an emotion, i've probably felt it. having a baby is way more intense than anyone can describe. in fact, i (or anyone who's had a baby) could write a thesis on the roller coaster that is having a newborn and people without babies still wouldn't fully understand. it's kinda a shit show. a really cute, sweet, happy shit show.

here's a video and some pictures of THE CUTEST KID ON THE PLANET:

how to not be pregnant anymore

experts agree: the #1 way to not be pregnant anymore is to give birth to your baby. (there are other ways, but they're pretty much terrible and tragic, so i suggest you stick to giving birth). the tricky part of this "delivery" method is that is it hard & you never know what you're going to get. it is like a very painful box of chocolates. except some of the candies in the box might not be chocolate at all, but cleverly disguised turds. trust me, you do not want to eat a turd when you think you're going to get candy. BUT, if you know going into it that you might end up eating a piece of poop and you work hard to mentally prepare yourself for that fact, it's possible to still be pleased with your experience even if you get the wrong kind of chocolate. 

i know, because i ate the turd-chocolate and i feel pretty great about it. at 41 weeks - after being in non-labor labor for so long - my midwife moved up my induction date (i think she was disappointed, too, that i was still pregnant). in fact, i was so NOT in labor that michael & i bought a car on the night before our inducement (is that a word?). i even made lemon bars!

my last preggo picture

our new baby!

friday, september 28th 2012 dawned clear & crisp. michael & i drove our new baby (the car) to the hospital so we could me our new baby (the human). we checked in, i put on a comically large gown (seriously, don't they make child-size ones i could've used?), and the nurse got me set up with an iv. the process of getting the iv was one of the most traumatizing of the day - 3 tries! 3! 

for a few hours, it was kinda like being at home. contractions that are fairly strong, but nothing terrible. michael read a book for school. i watched "the chew" and had cups of soup broth. then Things Changed. my midwife checked me and, since i had only dilated to 2cm, she broke my water. it was weird and messy. and it kept getting messier. i felt bad about getting water all over the place, so i stood in the shower to labor in a "clean way".

michael called the nurse after a while, because i was really having trouble with the lack of breathing time i was getting. she suggested i move around and this was the first time i thought: "things are getting real - ima need an epidural soon." but when my midwife came to check me, i'd gone to 7cm. i said, "that's almost the end of dilating, right?! there's only 3 more cm to go; i can do that!" and that's how i missed my first chance for drugs. my midwife had to go see some patients, so she said to call her when i felt like i needed to push. i'm pretty sure she didn't even make it back to her office before i felt like i needed to push. i had gotten to 10cm so fast i said, "it's time for pushing?! that's really almost the end of everything! i can do that."

except it wasn't the end. honestly, i thought i'd push like 5 times & then he'd be here. i was way off. if i recall, pushing took about 4 hours. it was brutal. at the time, i felt like i was handling things okay, but michael has informed me that i was "out of control". i think he's exaggerating. (although the nurse did give me some fentanyl & oxygen to help me relax between contractions, so maybe i was freaking out. but only for some of the time.) in the end my midwife called a Dr, whom i refer to as Dr. Hair, to come see if they could do a vacuum extraction. he poked around & said it should be okay. michael polled the room for opinions (i would have agreed to almost anything they suggested at that point) before giving the okay. and then, all of the sudden, Dr Hair was like "push" and i was like "I AM!" and everyone was all "The baby is born!!"

even though labor hurt and i was exhausted (and apparently, "out of control") i thought it was awesome. it was pretty much the coolest thing i've ever done, even if parts of it were miserable. i mean, i could have done with less pushing and maybe less shouting, but i never cursed or shouted at anyone. my midwife even said i was one of the most polite laboring women she'd ever had. i minded my manners, yall.

and now, some pictures:

the first days

michael likes him, i think

the many faces of fenner t.

Hey

Fenner Till is here. He's super amazing, just as I predicted. I'll tell you lots (and lots) more about him later.

P.S. I'm most likely not following through on many of those serious promises. When I tell you about how I got him out, you'll understand.

PPS. I am stoked

serious promises

first, let me say that michael & i are pretty zen about waiting for baby fenner to arrive. when i thought he was coming early, i was pretty effin' stressed out (mostly due to work issues), but after being able to start my leave the way i planned i felt great.  with that in mind, here is a list of promises i'm willing to make for him to come before 41 1/2 weeks (which is when my midwife will induce me, 10/1):

• i would stop eating ice cream for the whole of my maternity leave
• i would miss the new episode of doctor who this saturday (this only counts if he comes ON saturday and i get to DVR it)
• i would take cooley on a walk every morning (with the baby) as soon as i could walk through the house at a normal pace
• i would reduce my internet usage by 25% (which, at the moment, equals roughly 5 hours)
• i would eat green beans from a can AND applesauce
• i would wash and blow dry my hair everyday (not that this would be practical/possible, but it's something i hate doing)
• i would clean the kitchen floor with a rag instead of a mop
• i would sew symbols onto all of michael's socks so we knew which ones matched 
• i would clean out the garage
• i would roll all of the change in the house by hand

 as a side note, we had no idea that everyone else on the planet would be so anxious for us (in varying ranges from 30% to 115% more anxious). so, for everyone who is wigging out about him not being here yet, i've got to say that if you take a chill pill you'll be a lot happier. michael & i are worrying about your blood pressure.

p.s. i've been checking my work email each day to keep things from getting out of control & i got an email from our (totally crazy) literacy coach. she emails all the teachers to say that it's time to get all the ILPs (literacy plans) for returning and new students ready/entered. then she emails just *me* to say it'd be "great" if i could work on my ILPs while i'm waiting for the baby to come. yeah, NO. i am not being paid right now, so why in the world would i spend time working?! what a crazy b. i just ignored the email.

what if i'm the first lady to be pregnant forever?

first, please laugh at that title. i know it's not true At All and am just being dramatic. (although, at my dr. visit last week, i did say to my midwife "so, these [false contractions] could go on forever." and she said, "well...not forever.")

anyway, lets talk about some other stuff:

this is a screen shot earlier this week from my contraction app - the blue graph means they were All Lies

Saturday, Michael had the absolutely brilliant idea to go check out the aspens changing colors. this is one of my very favorite things to do. so we woke up early, got some yummies from the german bakery, took cooley to the dog park, dropped my car off to get new tires, and THEN headed to the super-secret road to see some beautiful colors (the super-secret road is courtesy of michael's sweet state-employee hook-ups)

ashley's awesome photo-bomb

also, i got myself some instagram. it's mildly amusing and i like the different coloring, but don't look for me anywhere, because i'm pretty sure i did a good job of blocking the crap out of myself on their app. i just want pretty colors, not another social invasion.
side note: i think i'm becoming an old person in regards to social media. i grumble a lot about facebook and similar things these days. in fact, if you ask me about the possibility of people posting things about baby fenner on the internet without express prior consent, i do a lovely rendition of flippin' the eff out!

this was taken with the belly, specifically with mom in mind. can you see where my turkey-timer belly button popped?

michael getting some hand sanitizer from ashley. we are learning soooo much about her!

so, let's talk about this guy. cooley is going to probably be the bane of my existence once fenner arrives. this morning, we didn't go on a walk together (i am so tired. how in the world am i so tired?), so he's been licking and bugging me like crazy. sorry to break it to you, bucko, but this is your new life once the baby gets here. and being a rowdy bastard = living in the backyard. so shape up!

he's adorable though, right?! the laundry fell on him the other day and he just didn't care.

in final news, i made some oatmeal cream pie cookies. they're pretty damn delicious. also, i need to repaint my nails. which i literally JUST painted last week when i thought i might have a baby. damn nail polish.

so, now i'm going to go back to resting (from the extremely exhausting task of Not Doing Anything), before i buck up and start doing some cleaning/organizing/cooking.


p.s. this picture-post is brought to you by my iphone 4. probably the best decision we've made in the past year (and, yeah, i'm including getting pregnant in that)

this is bullshit: 39 weeks edition

Do you realize how long 39 weeks is, people? 39 weeks ago was JANUARY. I have literally spent all of 2012 pregnant. Honestly, it's been great. Didn't get too sick, too tired, too fat, too uncomfortable, too emotional. I got just the right amount of everything.

Except now. Now I'm getting a bajillion days of "maybe labor" and, frankly, it's really starting to get annoying. I *know* women can have days & days of contractions that don't lead anywhere and I *know* a 3-minute contraction is normal. I also *know* that it's bullshit and it's really messing with me.

I decided to stop working because it was too stressful for me to teach and try to pay attention to contractions to make sure they weren't progressing too much for me to be able to drive myself home. Not to mention having non-progressing contractions all day doesn't mean they won't turn into progressing contractions at any moment. So after a 9 hour day, I would spend another 1-2 hours at home creating "just-in-case" sub plans for the next day. I know not many teachers read this, but "just-in-case" sub plans are the devil's work. And then I'd wake up at 2am and be so stressed I couldn't fall back asleep for hours.

Well, after being so damn *proud* of myself for deciding to eff that and just stay home to "take care of myself" - those mother-effin contractions have all but stopped! I know he's got at least another week that he's supposed to be cooking in there & that's fine, but how do I go back to work now?! It seems ridiculous to go back, but it's equally ridiculous to stay at home when I've got no good reason. Plus, since the first 2 days of contractions were so convincing, everyone knew about them and now I get to tell multiple people on a daily basis: "No, but maybe, but not really, OHMYGODSTOPASKINGNOTHINGISHAPPENING."

What I'm saying is this: don't ever have try to birth a baby. It's really, really annoying and it will make you shout obscenities in your mind at well-meaning loved ones.

"well, duh," you will probably say

I'm pretty sure we can all agree that I'm an amazing human being. If you aren't on board the Molly Express, you wouldn't still check this blog after all the neglect I put you through. However, I'm also pretty sure you know that I suck as well. Here's the best part: Most of the things that make me awesome, also make me suck.

Exhibit A: I love making people happy. Especially people who are MY people. If you're one of my people you will know it because when you ask me for something I will generally give it to you if I can. I like giving people stuff that makes them happy & that's groovy. Except for when it's not because I spend too much time making other people happy & end up a giant stress ball with cute hair (did i mention i got a hair cut? it looks great!)

Now there's Fenner, who's literally the most MY person on the planet. And the rest of the world is going to have to suck it, because all the bullshit demands of the past 4-5 days have made me start fighting with my new coolest person. He's done a lot more than I have these past 9 months to go from cell clump to prehistoric swamp animal to actual tiny human and all of the sudden I decided to put in my 2 cents.

He knows what he's doing. I don't (holy crap, did i post on the internet that i don't know *everything*?!). So I'm going to pay attention to him now. Honestly, I don't know why it didn't occur to me before my 2:30 am peanut butter toast snack. The formula is simple really:

Molly (who is, as previously referenced, amazing) + Michael (who is equally amazing, if not more so given his superior height/eye sight) = baby Fenner (who is likely to crush all the other babies in the world with his new levels of off-the-charts amazingness). 

This little honey badger is going to rule us all someday.

a vacation, a kiwi, and a honey badger

a vacation

at the end of august, michael & i went to salida for the weekend. lady skelnik agreed to watch the coolster, so off we went to have No. Responsibilities. it was pretty great. we lazed about, ate a very fancy dinner, wandered by the arkansas river, floated in a pool, napped, and went to bed early both nights. we were veritable party animals.

michael & this dude chatted about some snakes in the rocks.

chillin' by the arkansas

model pose (if models had giant prego bellies)

a real model pose.

we saw this ski-bike. michael is stoked, can you tell?

michael wanted to purchase this motorcycle. i vetoed, but liked that the engine resembled a robot.

the park across the street had a really weird exercise area. here's michael demonstrating one of the 20 different "machines"

we ended our fancy dinner with f-ing delicious creme brulee

at the local liquor store, we found christmas presents for the whole skelnik family

a kiwi
my cousin anna mae came for her 2nd annual united states tour, all the way from new zealand. it was excellent to see her over labor day. now she's off to continue her cross-country extravaganza, but i enjoyed her so much that i thought she deserved a top billing.

here's my kiwi cousin. proof she was here (and making classic faces)

a honey badger
because apparently, that's what i'll be birthing soon. and i mean Soon. at my appointment yesterday, my midwife checks me out and then lights up like cooley waiting for a peanut-butter covered carrot. here's a loose translation of our visit:
her: "you're 90% effaced and he's at -2 station! this is so excellent - you progressed so much since last week! yay! rainbows and kitty cats!" {not a direct translation}
me: "oh, haha, maybe everyone who says he's coming early might be right." totally nonchalant.
her: "probably they are. he'll be here before 40 weeks."
me: "um.....do you think before the 14th? i'm working until the 14th."
her: "possibly."
me: "so, uh is there anything i can do to discourage labor? like the opposite of spicy food? could i drink a lot of milk?" {sadly, this IS a direct translation. i literally asked if i should drink milk to keep my labor from starting}
her: "no no no. once he's ready, he's got to come out. you're just waiting for contractions."
me: "um, ok? see you next week."
her: "or, you know, before then!"
[door closes]
[i sit there without my underwear on, stunned]

so, my baby doesn't give a shit. my baby does what he wants. just like a honey badger. (please, please go watch the honey badger if you don't know this reference: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4r7wHMg5Yjg&noredirect=1)

at least we finished his room. not like my ferocious wild animal spawn will care.

p.s.

cooley says "heeeeyyy guys!"

birth is like magic!

This morning, MDT & I listened to a great interview on NPR about magicians and junk. We love that shit because the people who write obscure books and get interviewed on NPR about them are always so endearingly nerdy. Anyway, the author was talking about a really interesting study he did (because obviously he's only an amateur magician, who's really a physicist) where he distracted people with a coin trick, stole their watches during the trick, put the watch ON, and did another card trick for the person while wearing the watch. 80% of people didn't notice a thing! It's called "in-attentional blindness" (when you're not paying enough attention and miss super obvious stuff). It's called "MAGIC"

So, beyond being a really rad topic for an interview, the Till family has found a way to incorporate it into practical life. We went to our first Childbirth class today and the nurse was talking about how often a very good birth coach (that's the PC term for Baby Daddy I guess) can distract a laboring women enough for her to not feel all the pain. Michael and I say: "MAGIC!" and then giggle loudly from the back of the class.

We are kinda the worst students. We giggled a lot, Michael described amniotic fluid as a "baby jacuzzi", I refused to breath through pursed lips, Michael joked that a baby in the nursery looked like him and we need to talk later, I described the babies as "huge burritos", & Michael gave me the hardest/fastest massage ever during relaxation practice. I bet she wishes we don't come back tomorrow.

The other big highlights of today's class were the videos & the hospital tour (this place does single rooms only for both labor and postpartum - woot for privacy!). The videos were what you think they are: ladies who are hot messes, rocking around uncomfortably until a baby squeezes out their lady hole. We saw a lot of vaginas today and I was actually very surprised by the amount of fluids & goop happening down there. I mean, I had a hunch that "baby comes out of vagina" was how this whole thing was going to end, but I just wasn't prepared for the gooeyness of it all. Hence the aforementioned woot for privacy.

Finally, I am about 36 weeks along now. In 5 days I'll get full credit for this pregnancy thing, even if I don't go the full 40. In 20 days I'll say "in a while, crocodile" to the best class of 2nd graders ever. And sometime in the 14 days after that we'll have a giant wriggling burrito in our house. I think we're going to ask someone to order a extra large burrito & bring it to the hospital so we can accurately compare.

I'll try to post relatively soon about my ridiculously amazing class this year. They are freakin angels from heaven. I've come to realize that I have high standards for myself and this blog. I can't be writing about just any old crap and will only update when I've got good quality shit to throw down. Or. You know. I'm just lazy.

P.S. iPad and Blogger don't know each other that well and haven't been in touch about how to upload pictures together. Sorry.

what do i know anyway?

okay, so really i was 28 weeks along in that last post. i fixed the picture, but i'm not going to rewrite all the things that are happening with baby till. i can only add that his brain is developing billions of neurons & it's pretty clear that it's costing me some of my critical thinking skills (like, you know, counting).  anyway, here is a picture of the real 29 weeks. 

people, i want you to pause for a moment. 29 is close, very close, to 30. indeed, it is ONE away. in this case, one week or 7 days (see how i'm working on my counting skills?). and once i get to 30 weeks, i'm only 10 weeks away from The Big Event. 10 weeks is about 2.5 months. does anyone feel like it's a good idea for me to be someone's mother is 2.5 months?! i'm yet to be convinced, especially because i have about 10% of Baby Things up and running. in case you're wondering, that's not a lot of things. however, lady skelnik will be here in a few weeks & i plan on utilizing her non-pregnant body to do all my baby preparation bidding. that makes me feel better.


p.s. it's come to my attention that these webcam pictures are on the other side of awful. it's also come to my attention that michael lost our camera on the wildfire & it's either burned and/or flooded. so grainy webcam pictures is all we've got going for a while. don't fret my sweets, i plan on having a new camera in less than 10 weeks (ohmygod, i cannot be a mom and not even have a camera!!)

p.p.s. i am going to admit this on the internet, but any form of shaming me or "i told you, ha ha" will have it deleted FOREVER {kristina}. so. last night. i went out for drinks with some girlie friends. it was rainy. my back was sore. and. i.......i wore my leggings as pants.

may god have mercy on my soul

 

breaking news!

i can still paint my own toenails! as the days pass and my stomach gets exponentially larger and more difficult to maneuver around i figured painted toenails had to be one of the first things to go. but not so! all it required were these simple steps:
1. empty bladder
2. sit in a very un-ladylike position
3. hold arm in a slightly odd position & paint slowly.

these are the little things that make my day. do you feel sorry for me yet? well, maybe you will when you see how large my belly is in this week's update-->

 what's going on in there? hopefully, the little guy is about 2.5-3 lbs now. that is a very little portion of the [redacted number of pounds] i've gained so far. as you can see, the rest of that weight is in my boobs, arms, and cheeks. i say "hopefully" because midwife jana measured my belly at my latest appointment & it's measuring at about 31 weeks. don't be such a fat-ass baby!

what's going on out here? well, i'm officially in my 3rd trimester and have accomplished little-to-nothing in regards to preparing for a baby outside of my body. i have created an extensive excel spreadsheet detailing the items we still need to purchase for this dude, including several options for each item. also, i have spent about 3 hours total boxing up things in the office-soon-to-be-guest room. p.s. that is not enough time to pack all the shizz in that room. i'm hopeful that when michael gets home next week he'll move all of the things for me, so we can get down to some serious baby room creating business. (and by "hopeful" i mean i hope i'll have enough sadism to force him into manual labor after 2 weeks of 16 hour days/sleeping on the ground/eating meals out of a bag.)


finally, i take small comfort in the fact that, when photographed from the front, this dress makes me look semi-unpregnant.

p.s. i took my glucose test today where they screen for gestational diabetes by having you drink this sugar drink and then draw your blood after an hour. what does it say about me that i didn't mind drinking it At All and it mostly tasted like flat orange fanta? i think it says i eat too much sugar and ima fail that test.

bad blogger

Yep, missing out on 3+ weeks of pregnancy updates makes a bad mommy blogger indeed. well, it's a good thing i'm not a mommy blogger then, right? anywho, here are some things:

thing a: know that i fully intended to take a week 25 & 26 picture. but week 25 came around and i looked at my belly and said "you look the same". and then i took a nap. week 26 came around and i had a camera in my grasp, but we got busy celebrating a wedding. i do have a week 27 picture. you may say "hurray! i love watching molly's body distort!" sorry to disappoint, but the belly isn't very visible due to the fact that i cropped my girlfriends out of a baby shower picture [see thing b] and it's not really belly-specific. and here's the final word on your weird obsession with my body -- i am again without a camera/photographer [see thing c], so pictures rely on my ability to hook up the skype camera to the computer and snap them of myself (from a distance. using magic.) so, go ahead and calculate those odds.

thing b: i got to have a vacation! it was my only summer vacation this year (no betty or coronado, although without the wine would it really have been a vacation at all?) I joined michael in flagstaff for some quality yarborough/lemoyne time & a wedding. it was Very Much Fun. then michael came home to take care of the pup and i hung around Hotel de Wiedel for a week. you guys, that's a great hotel - fully stocked maxi-fridge, big screen tv, wifi, pool, and amazing staff. you've got to stay there if you get a chance. also, my mom & sister threw me a sah-weet baby shower. see photographic evidence below

i fully expect my mom to download the pictures she took of all the wonderful gifts baby fenner & i received. (editors note: that is a joke and it's funny because i'm not sure when was the last time my mom transferred pictures from a camera to a computer. love you mom!)

the un-cropped photo of me & my lady-friends

the only decorations. honestly, do this streamer/balloon combo. sooo easy - see how proud ashley is of her work?! also, the food was amazing!

kristina ordered me up a rad cake. it had a little owl and a hidden TARDIS! plus it was super tasty! shout out to jen-jen for knowing how to cut that bad boy.

no games, but we did have a calendar for people to guess when the baby will come & write a card to baby fenner. plus a "create a onesie" station.

thing c: i came home, michael got called out to a fire, and our town started burning to the ground about 4 hours after he left. you may have seen information about the waldo canyon fire on the news (i'm not sure what's going on in other parts of the world. do you still get to watch 'so you think you can dance'? all i get is news anchors repeating the same 4 pieces of information every 12 hours). the fire did a mega-jump over a few ridges into an area where the homes back right up to open spaces. and, as it jumped, firefighters said "crap, we've got to drive over there!" but they can only drive on roads and fire gets to fly like a bird. and, as firefighters scrambled over to the area, the wind said "oh, ho ho! i'm going to blow like a megabeast and light this shit UP!" and it did. and then it burned everything it could, like wildfires do. the town said, "everyone in this area get the eff out of here!". i said "but, that is very close to MY house? do i need to get the eff out of here?" no one gave me a very definitive answer. so i cried and then ignored it and then packed up all our most valuable things and then worried and cried a little more and then sweated myself to sleep.
happily, yesterday was a better day for both myself and those who oppose wildfires burning down their town. and it seems as though today is as well. i'm still at home, but feeling more confident i can stay here (as long as it doesn't get too smokey or hot). 


thing d: baby fenner is good. moving around (although he's very stingy & didn't let many people feel him move. maybe the heat put him into a womb-coma) and starting to make my stomach make waves. i'm good - sleep & aches aren't awful. development-wise, things are more of the same. yay! we didn't miss much these past few weeks!

so. fun things have been happening. don't you all wish you could have adventures like me? 

the saddest thing (for today)

sorry about the no-post last weekend. michael & i had been putting off pretty much every errand/chore/task for about a month, so we had a lot to do. also, we forgot to take a picture. and then michael left for his backpacking bachelor party in az today, so i have no camera. you'll all just have to wait for more pictures of my ever expanding stomach. i know how you so dearly love it.

anyway, this is really about the saddest thing. and here is the saddest thing: michael left this morning for az, right? well, cooley and i proceeded to have a typical weekday, but around 4pm he gets pretty antsy. wandering, licking, wanting to play with weird toys. i say "do you miss michael?" his ears perk up and he runs to the window to see if michael is home. and then, he pretty much hangs out by the window for the next 5 hours. poor guy. i always tell michael that cooley loves him more, but he doesn't believe me. i better take some video this week of cooley's pitiful window watch, waiting for him to come home. 

 and, maybe, that's not the very *saddest* thing. but i'm pregnant and it makes me a little weepy. so it's the saddest thing for today. 

the two best friends that anyone could have

this is what cooley looks like when you get home.

when i was looking for a picture of cooley & michael, i found this one from christmas 2 years ago. ah! why do they get bigger than this?!