a pirates life for me

Today, per usual, I came home to bitch about one of my jobs to Michael (Tell me this, friends: what do you do with a person who does not say "Thank You" or even acknowledge your helpful presence?) To help calm me down, Michael gave me some sunflower seeds. I am woefully inept at cracking and eating sunflower seeds without using just my front teeth and hands (maybe it's the mouse thing?). So Michael tried to teach me how to crack them with my back teeth and pop them open with my front. I still failed and this is his response. While looking at me dead in the eye, he said,

"You would make a terrible chimp."

Well, this put me in a considerably better mood! So, to end on a happy note, this is an account of how I spent the last 40 minutes of my work day:

My Kindergarteners and I went outside to have extra recess, because of a long day inside. I got to sit in the sun for a bit and hang out with Ms. Chatty McTalkyson and her toy dog. Until a few kids showed up in desperate need of someone to guide their pirate actions and that I was the lucky Captain. Because I cannot resist when a certain kid acts less like he's Lord Voldemort and more like he's, well, Severus Snape to perfectly honest (he's got a long way to go), I rolled with it. At my command they got me treasure, gold dubloons, shoes, slurpees, a rare fruit from across the sea, and a precious bird from China. I love bossing kids around and so does Ms. Haughty Von Bossypants, who promptly took a vicious hold over our ship. We mutinied and made her walk the plank until she was nicer. Then we captured a bunch of princess prisoners, stuck them in the prison, and eventually released them to have a dance party. Thank god for kindergarteners and the nicknames I just gave them, which made me giggle a lot.


PS. Fenner, you know that I like you as a person because I've replaced your birthday post in less than 24 hours. That is a Herculean-feat of strength.