michael has been gone for 16 days and will not be home until Saturday or, more likely, later. he will not see his father who is visiting this week. we will not get to eat delicious german food with his dad & show him our town. this is bullshit.
i have spent more than 300 hours alone with our shitty dog. he barks, pulls, jumps, grabs, pushes, licks, and runs around like a psychotic toddler 3/4ths of that time. if you do the math that is 225 hours of him being a shit-head. this is bullshit. (p.s. thank you mom, dad, john, & christa for giving me refuge from the little shit over the weekends)
i'm 90% sure i have a cavity in my tooth & i am going to the dentist. its been hurting like the dickens for quite some time, when i push it with my tongue i want to shout a curse word and all michael keeps saying is, "you know you should floss". this is bullshit.
i spent 9 hours making michael the most complicated damn cake in the universe in anticipation that he would be home tomorrow or friday. if you don't see the problem, please refer to my first point. this is bullshit.
it is summertime, which means that N.O.T.H.I.N.G worthwhile is on tv. this is bullshit.
i have reached the end of the internet. literally, i've visited all the websites and read everything all the way back to the beginning of time. i do not have the energy to comment. this is bullshit.
cooking for one person is a pretty moot point, so i have been living off the following things: pizza, cookies, hamburgers, pizza, cookies, mac & cheese, popsicles. for 16 days. i feel shitty. this is bullshit.
we do not have air conditioning. our house gets up to around 80 degrees everyday. i can barely stand to wear underpants. this is bullshit.
when michael calls at night, i am so frustrated with all this bullshit that, when "i'm coming home tomorrow" is not the first thing he says, i bitch and whine our whole conversation. i know he has to wait to come home and my shitty attitude makes him feel shitty, too. but i do it anyway. because i have been alone for over a week and can't stop myself. this is bullshit.
i feel like this:
(although, looking at lolcats made me feel a little better)
2 comments:
I laughed so hard at the lolcat that I snorted (a lot). Also, go back to Homestar Runner and watch some Teen Girl Squad and StrongBad emails - it'll cheer you up. At least it did for me yesterday :)
At the risk of bringing your bullshit wrath on to me, I told you not to cancel you Netflix in the summer time! But you know what you can do to pass the time? TONS of stuff. Like this!
1. Crochet a blanket
b. write a book about the history of paperclips
III. make a baby
4. buy a trampoline and practice to be in Cirque De Solei
e. compile a 29 page list of all the things that make me awesome
VI. drink your liver away
7. Compose a broadway musical starring Minnie Driver and Hulk Hogan
h. Solve Cooley's farting problem using only astrology and a VHS tape of The Monkees TV show
IX. Build a ship in a bottle
10. Disprove gravity
And if you finish all that, let me know and I'll give you the difficult list.
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