dear [5th grade friend],
you will do good on your test! you're a good lucker! arrrr, you are a lucky pirate! you are the smartest fifth grader ever. you will beat the TCAP. you will go bananas when you get it right!
love, [2nd grade friend]
you will do good on your test! you're a good lucker! arrrr, you are a lucky pirate! you are the smartest fifth grader ever. you will beat the TCAP. you will go bananas when you get it right!
love, [2nd grade friend]
now if you don't feel encouraged by that, i fear for your sad little soul.
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speaking of luck, i was a lucky pirate today. on the way home from work, i was nearly man-slaughtered on the freeway. but i am a vigilant driver, so i noticed when the whacked out hoe in the next lane started to drift into my car and i was able to slow down. then i honked my horn for a long time and gave her a disappointed head shake as i drove past.
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speaking of disappointed head shakes, i was giving a secret one to michael when he mentioned going to a "dead man" festival this weekend. i was like, a frozen dead guy? what? why? which is the precise reaction my teammates had when i told them about it today. their curiosity wouldn't be sated until we looked up the details.
well, let me tell you. my secret head shake is now a head nod of approval. it sounds ridiculously fun, in a weird weird way. i can have my picture taken with a cryogenicly frozen dude. please visit the wiki en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frozen_Dead_Guy_Days or the website frozendeadguydays.org (a .org?! that's how you know it's serious).
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speaking of serious. my belly is out of control. please tell me this is because i'm short and the baby has nowhere else to go and NOT because i had a loose-goose wiggle belly before.
i am sucking it IN

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speaking of luck, i was a lucky pirate today. on the way home from work, i was nearly man-slaughtered on the freeway. but i am a vigilant driver, so i noticed when the whacked out hoe in the next lane started to drift into my car and i was able to slow down. then i honked my horn for a long time and gave her a disappointed head shake as i drove past.
-------------
speaking of disappointed head shakes, i was giving a secret one to michael when he mentioned going to a "dead man" festival this weekend. i was like, a frozen dead guy? what? why? which is the precise reaction my teammates had when i told them about it today. their curiosity wouldn't be sated until we looked up the details.
well, let me tell you. my secret head shake is now a head nod of approval. it sounds ridiculously fun, in a weird weird way. i can have my picture taken with a cryogenicly frozen dude. please visit the wiki en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frozen_Dead_Guy_Days or the website frozendeadguydays.org (a .org?! that's how you know it's serious).
------------
speaking of serious. my belly is out of control. please tell me this is because i'm short and the baby has nowhere else to go and NOT because i had a loose-goose wiggle belly before.
i am sucking it IN


1 comment:
you're funny.
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