this is bullshit!

so, maybe soon in the future, i will post of video of how that's supposed to sound. anyway, welcome to a new segment on molly & molly where we share some things lately that are bullshit. but, first, here is a story about how this segment came to be:

several months ago, it came to my attention that there was an "urban legend" running around my school that i had shouted "This is bullshit!" at our assistant principal (some versions had me chasing her down the hallway, yelling). well, obviously that did not "technically" happen. (I did say something was bullshit - because it was - but I said it after she was gone, albeit in a room with several people in it.)

now, people, you must know by now that the school i worked at this year was FULL of bullshit and people at work stuck to that phrase like white on rice. at an end-of-the-year get together it was said multiple times about every. little. thing. this tickled michael to no end and he suggested i make a regular posting entitled "This is Bullshit" to share the love. so let's share.

1. MDT has been called to a fire. On Memorial Day and 5 days before his mother comes to town. This is Bullshit!

2. Cooley has become smart enough to break out of his gate when we leave him home alone. We are forced to just let him roam when we're out and have back-tracked to the days of puppy-proofing the house. This is Bullshit!

3. A member of MDT's office (who is a recurring member in our household Bullshit! sessions) got paid to drive all around the greater part of southern colorado for no work-related purpose AND got a speeding ticket in a state vehicle. there was no official punishment. This is Bullshit!

Now it's your turn. What's been Bullshitting you lately?

lazy, lazy, lazy. i love being lazy

after the early-week shit show we encountered (which i will detail for you later), i am now fully recovered and fully enjoying my summer vacation. walking a thin line between jammies & clothes, trolling blogs, watching LOTS of csi re-runs, contemplating being productive, taking cuddly naps with the coolster, and leaving the house for at least 30 minutes for a trot around the block is definitly my idea of awesomeness.

here is a summary of my past month:

i started tucking my shirt into my pants and i love it

we went on a field trip to the zoo - classic! they were sooooo excited to go on the bus (I love the crap out of those kids)

but i was still thrilled to be done with that horrible place & get ready to move on!

we celebrated a friend's birthday with a, wait for it.......MURDER MYSTERY DINNER PARTY!!! this girl casie (in the black hat) planned it & set it all up (complete with dance contest) and it was the most fun ever. beware friends, this type of party is all i will accept in the future

(also, can we talk about michael's ridiculous beard?! it was a hit of the party)

mdt & i also went out for a celebratory "i-got-a-job" dinner. i drank a whole beer by myself and we had the saltiest french fries on the earth.
seriously, they were VERY salty.

and in other big news, i found a recipe to make your own oatmeal creme pies. they are fucking delicious.

i believe i also mentioned something about a "shit show". to begin, the internet at our house just stopped working on sunday. their so-called "customer service" line informed me that there might be some "connection issues" and they have "no ETA in these matters". if you know me at all, you know that i just about lost my mind.
additionally, over that same weekend, part of our basement was slightly flooded with rank-smelling water. hmmm. we call a plumber & they come on monday, tell us it looks like a bend in the pipe & not just a clog, recommend we get a camera to look at it, and take our money. 30 minutes later, we look at cooley and see this:

the bottom picture is an example of his regular face

yes, our dog got stung/ate/attacked (who knows?) by bees (we presume) and his face swelled up like .... i don't even have a simile to put here. it was unbelievable. we drugged him up with benedryl & he slept for a few hours and then he was back to normal. also, still no internet.

but those things alone do not a shit show make. on *tuesday* we have the plumbers come back with their camera. long shit show short, the main plumbing line that goes from our home to the city's sewer line is jacked up** beyond repair and we need to undergo a huge (read: EXPENSIVE) project to assure that we don't have random raw sewage chilling in our basement. fun. (p.s. internet finally returns, but only after i have already signed up for a different provider, because skybeam can kiss my ass)


thankfully, i'm fully recovered (see above where i mention how i'm spending my days this week). and i'm back to blogging. so yay. now comment bitches.


**"jacked up" is the new favorite phrase in the Till household. try it out - it goes with everything! i feel in love with it when one of my students used it a few months ago:

Me: There's a bumblebee in this book. Can anyone share how they can make a connection to that?
Boy: Oooh! One time, I saw a bumblebee on the sidewalk and he was all jacked up. He was [insert blech sound and miming being crushed]. His guts was all [insert belch sound and crush-miming again].
Me (trying not to die laughing & noticing my evil principals in the doorway): So this bumblebee reminded you of a dead bumblebee, yes?
Boy: No, he was Jacked. Up.
Me (still dying): Okay, but when you say 'jacked up' you mean he was smushed and dead on the sidewalk, right?
Boy: Yes! He was jacked up!

I bid you adieu, but be on the lookout for a new segment that michael suggested called "This Is Bullshit!"

adventures

i've been having a few adventures lately. some have been good, some have been hardish, and some have been awesome. oh, you want to know what they are? perhaps so that you may model your own life after my escapades? okay, if you say so

1) i visited mesa & flagstaff over spring break. there are literally 0 pictures of this. so you'll need to just imagine me having a frickin' awesome time hanging out with my family, eating a wonderful Italian birthday dinner, visiting Marshall & getting a gigantic ego boost from 20+ kids shrieking/hugging me, and seeing everyone i love in flagstaff at Chris & Fenner's house. it was seriously awesome, which is why it's #1

2) i started applying for jobs. this is not pretty, but it's definitely an adventure. hopefully no one needs to model their life after this part (since it pretty much sucks). and, just so you all know, it's slow going and seriously un-fun, so i don't think i'll be talking about it much more.

3) we went out with some girls from work downtown to the bars and it was insanely fun. michael even commented that it was out of control for him and i know for a fact we've been in some pretty rowdy situations in the past. i ended up falling asleep on the floor by our bed. so, yes, go ahead and try out this adventure of getting housed one night.

4) speaking of getting housed, we've been settling in to our new abode. we bought a vacuum (dyson - YES!) and a washer/dryer (no more hang drying my clothes so they don't get scorch marks!) we (and mostly i mean michael) have also: built a "front" for the chain-link fence of wood planks, secured the fencing in the back yard so cooley cannot escape, and put in a dog door (that was a challenge). while michael was doing all that, I: created an organization system for our constant pile of crap/mail/paperwork, spent 3+ weekends creating a collage-wall for the living room. i learned how to do that at this website

and on to some pictures, yes?

there is a momma birdie cooking up some chicks on our patio. mdt took these pictures and then we didn't see her for a while and we were nervous. but she's back.



we tried to roast a chicken. it looks good here, but it was Totally Raw inside. F you cooking light - that was *not* the perfect roasted chicken. (p.s. we salvaged it)



here's the collage wall. i'm not sure mdt likes it so much, but i'm pretty proud. the big empty space is going to be a corkboard (mdt has been dreaming of a wine cork board, so i'm working on that next weekend)

this is my life

so, first, to clarify: when i said i "quit" my job that really means i'm still working there until the end of may. just another messed up thing teachers do.

second, if anyone is interested in the insanity that is my workplace (and, sadly it seems many other public schools across the nation), please check out these videos. the first one especially encapsulates the madness

"good teachers can model and engage students at the same time. that's why it's called an I Do - because everyone's doing something"

"you have to model everything for the students, because they are not smart." (i've *actually* been told this very thing)

"the students have started filling in all the bubbles as a form of protest...the one thing we have assessed beyond a shadow of a doubt is that they do not care about assessments. and that they hate you." (another one that is very true)



also, what he says about phrasing evaluation is probably what our administrators were told word-for-word.


here's another special one which shows off our awesome "plc" time (which is not PLC At. All. and makes me want to scream every time they call it that.




love you!

so much to tell

hey party people! there's a lot to tell, so i'm not going to do it now. i'll do it when i have the proper time and space. but i'm sure you've all had enough of cooley's bandanna by now.

some peripheral news:

-i was dying for a day and a half, but now i'm alive
-michael painstakingly installed the dog door and it is like heaven on earth
-michael is also painstakingly building a front for our fence, so no one will steal cooley when we start leaving him out to roam the yard alone.
-we are having So. Much. Fun. reading "the witches" in class. the kids are wonderfully horrified! it's like they are freaked out, but they don't want me to stop. today i told them if they didn't hurry into the classroom i'd turn them into mice & that i had delayed-action mouse-maker in my water bottle. they were thrilled and also slightly nervous, which is just how i like my kindergartener's to feel! mwhahaha (also, i had to drink out of my water bottle to prove that it was just water)

p.s. if you are like most of the people in my life, and you have not read "the witches" please go wiki it now.